The Romance of the Mekong Delta

Ahh the Mekong delta, a place that appeared in my mind's eye as a green and fertile river delta. Fish aplenty with only a few local fishermen trying to catch them. This was of course pictured at dusk with homemade nets thrown out past the reeds. The silence only broken by the sound of a US military helicopter flying low, past a blood orange red sunset.

I have been told i have seen too many movies.

I am not sure what is more striking about the modern Mekong Delta; the fact that it is an industrial swamp or that tourists flock to it in droves. We spent two days here and we will never ever be able to get these days back.

Day 1:
-Drive 3 hours from Saigon through what seemed to us to be a continuation of the outskirts of Saigon. One motorbike repair shop after another.
-Arrive at Mekong town and get into boat. Cross the river in boat and go to local shops on the other side. Listen to horrible Vietnamese music which is even worse than Thai music. I thought i would kill myself if i ever heard music worse than Thai music, but fortunately i did not do so.
- Cross river again
-Drive 3 more hours to another Mekong town.


Day 2
- See floating river markets. This was an 'OK' thing to do. Not good, or fun, or worth 6 hours travel, but 'OK.' You don't need to see this.
- Visit a locally built river bridge (something i could have built when i was 15)
- Drive 6 hours back to Saigon

The icing on the cake was our guide, for good and bad. Our day-1 guide was a lovely old man who had great stories to tell and was even a translater for the americans from '65-75. I would have paid to listen to his stories in a bar for two days.
Our day-2 guide was a stressed out dude who took his aggression out on all the tourists. We had all decided over dinner that night, that if we saw him again in this evening we would have to murder him. Does it count as a conspiracy if more than 15 people decide to murder someone? At least he stopped the boredom.

I think in situations like this you have to just laugh and try and have fun anyway, as we did. There was a small possibility at one time that we were going to meet a friend here for this Mekong Delta trip. Both of us are so happy that she missed the fun.

If you are in Saigon and you have a few days to kill DON'T visit the Mekong. There is so much more to do....

...like ....

...go to the movies! Yes, you might be shaking your head at us, but going to the movies in a different country can be a real insight into parts of the culture that you wouldn't see usually as a tourist.

In India people sing, dance, and cheer or boo the characters on the screen (very fun)
In Thailand they stand for the national anthem before EVERY movie (very serious)
In Switzerland there is always a 20 minute smoke break half-way through the movie (very necessary)
In Australia there are the funky slide show at the start of each film (very old-fashioned)

...and in Vietnam they like to leave the cinema quickly. Ideally 15 minutes before the end of the film. Apparently they like starts and middles but not ends. First thing we noticed were the people next to us getting up, mobiles coming on and all of a sudden we were the last people sitting. I can offer no explanation for this. Please post a reply if you can offer one.

So right now, we are in the beach side town of Mui Ne. We decided to get here, see how we feel and then go from there. So we arrived, had lunch and booked our flights out of here. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Ruth Gonzalez (my youngest brother's charming girlfriend) for the advice to visit this place. No, really, thank you Ruth. I know you said you had never been here, but that is no excuse. In fact we have both decided to do the exact opposite of what you have suggested from now on.

It is yet another beach town with no real beach. There is a concrete re-enforced beach where we are staying. Perhaps this is to stop the beach from disappearing or perhaps this is to disuade the Phillipinos from invading.

"We can see the beach Captain, but it looks far worse than what the guide book states."

" Is it this year's lonely planet?"

"It is captain"

"Give the book and binoculars here corporal....hmm....you are right. This is shithouse. Abort mission boys. Let's go home instead."

I am sure it would go something like that, except that they would be speaking Tagalog.

Nah, sorry Ruth. I reckon it would be much better if it was a sunny day, but it is not. Plus i like to make fun of you quite a lot and i thought this is about as public as it gets. Will she read this? Will she reply? Does anyone care in the slightest?

We will wake up tomorrow hoping for sunny skies, and then the following day fly north to Hanoi to see Halong Bay. Very Exciting!!!

Speak soon